path: root/misfits

Nathan: Me? I was done for eating some pic'n'mix.
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Nathan: [Looking at Kelly] I'm guessing shoplifting...?
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Nathan: I'm no doctor, but you see the way the side of his head's all caved in like that...?
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Tony: There are people out there who think you're scum. You have an opportunity to show them they're wrong.
Nathan: Yeah, but what if they're right? No offense, but I'm thinking some people are just born criminals.
Gary: Are you looking to get stabbed?
Nathan: You see my point there?
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Simon: What if we are meant to be, like, superheroes?
Nathan: You lot, superheroes? No offence, but in what kind of fucked-up world would that be allowed to happen?
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Nathan: I mean, I was there, right? I should have one of these bullshit powers.
Kelly: You can have mine. Wanna hear what people are thinking about you?
Nathan: Not so much, no. I want something good, you know, something from the A-list.
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Kelly: What if there's loads of people like us all over town?
Nathan: No, that kind of thing only happens in America. This will fade away. I'm telling you, by this time next week, it'll be back to the same old boring shit.
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Nathan: What about you, weird kid? Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but you look like a panty sniffer.
Simon: I'm not a panty sniffer. I'm not a pervert. I tried to burn someone's house down.
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Nathan: You alright?
Kelly: What?
Nathan: You're usually a whole lot gobbier than this.
Kelly: No, I'm not.
Nathan: Come on, you haven't punched me in a few hours. I'm worried about you.
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Nathan: You alright?
Kelly: What?
Nathan: You're usually a whole lot gobbier than this.
Kelly: No, I'm not.
Nathan: Come on, you haven't punched me in a few hours. I'm worried about you.
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Nathan: When did you get balls?
Simon: I've always had balls, you've just never seen them.
Nathan: That's the gayest thing I've ever heard.
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Nathan: Come on, Barry. You're good at this stuff. Think of something.
Simon: Who's Barry?
Nathan: You are.
Kelly: His name is Simon.
Nathan: Is it? I thought it was Barry.
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Nathan: She's got you thinking this is how you're supposed to be. It's not. We're young. We're supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other's brains out. We were designed to party. We owe it to ourselves to party hard. We owe it to each other. This is it. This is our time. So a few of us will overdose, or go mental. Charles Darwin said you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. That's what it's about - breaking eggs - by eggs, I mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of class As.
Nathan: If you could see yourselves... We had it all. We have fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful... We're screw-ups. I plan on staying a screw-up until my late twenties, or maybe even my early thirties. And I will shag my own mum before I let her... or anyone else take that away from me!
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Nathan: [Falling off the roof] Save me, Barry!
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Nathan: Come on, Barry, you're good at this stuff. Think of something.
Simon: Who's Barry?
Nathan: You are.
Kelly: His name is Simon.
Nathan: I thought it was Barry. Sorry, man.
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Nathan: We're young. We're supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other's brains out. We are designed to party. This is it. Yeah, so a few of us will overdose or go mental. But Charles Darwin said you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. And that's what it's all about breaking eggs! And by eggs, I do mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of Class As. If you could just see yourselves! It breaks my heart. You're wearing cardigans! We had it all. We fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful! We're screw-ups. I'm a screw-up and I plan to be a screw-up until my late 20s, maybe even my early 30s. And I will shag my own mother before I let her... or anyone else take that away from me!
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Nathan: [Discussing a plan for dealing with the Virtue group] Come on, Barry, you're good at this stuff. Think of something.
Simon: Who's Barry?
Nathan: You are.
Kelly: His name is Simon.
Nathan: Is it? I thought it was Barry.
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Nathan: Can we please stop killing our probation workers?
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Alisha: Er, if I was gonna suck someones cock, trust me, it wouldn't be his.
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Nathan: Yeah so my mum opens the door and she's like 'Ahhhhh' & I'm like 'I'm Immortal!' & then fanted, face plants on the radiator. There's blood and teeth everywhere.
Kelly: Is she alright?
Nathan: Yeah, she's fine. Apart from the whole... face.
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Nathan: I'm no good at this serious girl stuff, feelings and shit. I fancy you!
Kelly: Fanks
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Kelly: So if you're not dead, how come you smell so bad?
Nathan: I appear to have shat myself.
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Nathan: Hey, no offense. A lot of people say I'm mentally ill but obviously I'm not, because I'm over here, and you're over there... with the other crazies.
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Simon: We could rob a bank.
Nathan: Yeah, OK. Let's rob a bank.
Shaun: What's that?
Nathan: Nothing.
Shaun: Really? That's funny, innit? Because to me it sounded like you were planning on robbing a bank.
Nathan: No, no, no. I said "Let's have a big wank". Communal masturbation. The old circle jerk.
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Kelly: It's not Jesus, it's some dickhead with a few superpowers.
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Nathan: We may have done sod all with our powers but we never abused them. We never raped or murdered anyone.
Curtis: She raped me and we killed loads of people.
Nathan: Okay, but we're the good guys!
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Nathan: If they actually knew anything, they wouldn't be dicking around, sticking notes on lockers. They would have gone to the police and we'd all be banged up in prison, getting gang raped in the showers.
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Nathan: A few days ago, I go into the toilets. Tony and Gary were in there. They’re butt naked, Tony has Gary by his hair- like this- He’s just doin’ him… Doggy style… And Tony’s like, “Ooo who’s your daddy?! I’M your daddy! I’m BIG daddy! Oh! Oh yeah, you like that? Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, I’m daddy cooool!” So I’m guessing they ran away to continue their elicit homosexual affair. And I ask you, in this world of intolerance and prejudice, who are- WHO are WE to condemn them?!
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Simon: What’s he doing?
Curtis: He’s trying to smash the bottle with his mind. I think he’s going to shit himself.
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Nathan: Hey hey, who am I? One luhhhhhhh ohhh yeaaaaaahhhh huh huuuuuhhhhh ahhhhhhh… Come on! Okay, alright, alright. I’ll give you a clue. I’m an annoying cunt.
Alisha: Yeah, we know that.
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Ben: If you’ve got any questions, just ask
Nathan: If a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?
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Nathan: George Michael gets away with this shit but he used to be in Wham! Who are you?!
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Ruth: So what did you do?
Nathan: I sexually assaulted a 90 year old woman.
Ruth: That’s funny.
Nathan: She didn’t seem to think so at the time. God rest her soul.
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Simon: Maybe he’s a werewolf.
Nathan: Twat!
Simon: That’s what happens in films. You turn into a werewolf, you kill someone, and you wake up somewhere naked… Like a zoo…
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Nathan: Didn’t you say you wanted to piss on her tits? Probably best to keep that kinda thing between you and your internet service provider.
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Nathan: You’re just as screwed as the rest of us! You’re black and famous! You’re probably more screwed!
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Nathan: We put them in those wheelchairs, we wheel them up there, and if anyone sees us, we’re just a bunch of young offenders takin’ a couple of specials for a walk in the sunshine!
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Simon: I’m so hard for you. I wanna rip your clothes off and piss on your tits.
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Nathan: You let yourself down. You let the kids down. You let your parents down.
Curtis: Shut the fuck up!
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Kelly: I feel really weird.
Curtis: That’ll be the lightening.
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Kelly: Ehm, what makes you think that you’re better than us?
Nathan: What is that?!
Curtis: Is that for real?
Kelly: What are you trying to say something, yeah?
Nathan: It’s a- are you- that’s just a noise! Are we supposed to be able to understand her?!